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Antihistamínicos

Siempre he sido de novelas, de historias que solo existieron un día en la cabeza de un escritor, de aventuras, de fantasías. Jane Austen llegó a mis manos en esa época después de la universidad en la que aún mantienes una mezcla de fe, ilusión y confianza —y mucho tiempo libre—. Apareció de manera inesperada, de unas manos inesperadas. Aterrizó con la intención de arrebatarme, pero no lo consiguió. Estaba impregnada de olor a perfume masculino, guardada en la solapa interior de un abrigo, una tarde cualquiera de enero, junto a un café cortado y un té rojo derramado en parte sobre una mesa de madera. Y lo leí como esperando encontrarme la historia de mi vida (no sé si la que reflejara mi vida o la más bonita que había leído en mi vida). Pero lo que me encontré fue sueño, angustia y fatiga. Mi ávida imaginación soñó a su manera con el relato, lúgubre, frío y solitario, como era la protagonista de Cumbres Borrascosas. No hallaba entre las páginas esa pasión contenida de la que otros hablan, solo pensaba en dolor y enfermedad.

Qué más da, pensé. Al menos leía, tenía su casa llena de libros, por todas partes. Y ya sabéis la frase aquella. 

Odié ese ladrillo, llamadme loca. A mí, que me encanta leer la caja de los cereales y las etiquetas de los champús. A mí, que he leído mierdas infumables de la talla de 50 sombras de Grey (sí, qué pasa) y he devorado Los pilares de la tierra en tres días. Pero ese libro no: tóxico, quejumbroso, húmedo, sofocante.

Supongo que al final cumplió con su cometido porque aquí estoy, cuatro años más tarde hablando de él y del libro. No entiendo por qué aún hoy se me escapa su nombre de los labios, como un melocotón maduro que cae del árbol y se aplasta dejando una llaga de moho. Los alérgicos a las virtudes huimos de ellas porque aún no han inventado antihistamínicos que no te dejen grogui, casi como enamorados; en un estado catatónico del cerebro, ensordecido por unos pitidos lejanos pero cercanos, del más allá y del aquí y del ahora. 

Somos misterio y nadie se explica la imbecilidad contenida a la que, con demasiada frecuencia, nos agarramos. ¿Qué hemos hecho para merecer esto? La generación perdida, dicen refiriéndose a nuestro inmenso currículo y a nuestra vacía cuenta corriente. La generación perdida, pienso yo refiriéndome a las patéticas escenas nocturnas que presencio y al número de usuarios de cierta aplicación móvil. Hagamos algo. 

Hagamos el amor. Por ejemplo. 

 

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